me & family
Family is belonging. Family is generosity. Family is loyalty and
fierceness of connection. It is laughter, wonder, splendor, rivers
of tears, and arguments at three in the morning. Family is singing,
silence, holding hands, and knowing exaclty where someone is three
thousand miles away. Family is value, honor, discovery, and history.
It is what makes us unique and similar. Family is you, me, him,
her, and us.
ed
more ed
family
mojo
maryland/dc area friends
"She is so conjunctive to my life and soul/that as the star moves not
but in his sphere/I could not but by her" (IV.vii.14). These three
lines spoken by Claudius from Shakespeare's Hamlet reveal the
possibility that he truly loves Gertrude and he feels a deep connection
to her life and her spirit. Such love, such sympathy, such karmic
devotion is what binds me to my closest friends. I have never been a
loner. Friendship, to self and to others, is vital to my health and my
world view. Though I consider myself rather independent and comfortable
with being alone, I hate loneliness -- the feeling of being out of
touch, without community, and being divested of interest in your life
and others' lives. I know, therefore, I am dependent on the companionship,
the confidence, and the generosity of my friends.
I have struggled many soul-spilling nights for the definition of true
friendship. And I am only a meager degree closer to the ideal in my
mind every time I think about it. I do know that friendship for me is
a physical, mental, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual thing; it is
a manifestation, an evocation, an inspiration. Lonliness is a tough
spectre to dispel and my friends are my cross and light of day. I once
thought friendship meant co-dependency, twenty-four hour maintenance,
and the surrender of self. But I know better. My definition has
matured. I know now, to me, friendship is about learning, teaching,
understanding, giving, loving, and gathering; it is loyalty and laughter
and reminders and roadtrips; it is touching, holding, and simply being.
There is no better friend than someone with whom you can spend a long
moment in silence.
One of my friends, Seth, once wrote to me: "If you worry about
things like what your friends think of you, and whether or not they
miss you, then you have the wrong idea of what friendship is all
about." That realization is crystal to me. Friendship is the
building block of any relationship -- be it platonic, familial,
occupational, or romantic.
My friends in all of creation are my angels. They light on my mind
every day. I don't think there is a moment when I don't think of
them, whisper a moment of grace to them, or depend on their love for
me. Over the years I have taken the hand of many people. I have
allowed many to drift away. And, every once in a while, some of them
return -- again and again and again and always. I love them deeply
and I remind them often.
carol
casper
cate
chris
christine
dana
eliz
hugh
jeff
jesse
john
kevin
lou
matt w.
maggie
meghan
mere
mindy
nancy
peter
rob
ryan
ryan w.
scott
seth
shar
shawn
skinner
will h.
will s.
san francisco
I think it is too easy to take for granted that wherever you live there is
something unique, significant, and memorable about that place. I definitely
took my growing up in the Washington, DC metropolitan area a little bit
for granted until I moved to San Francisco. Suddenly, the Smithsonian,
the Chesapeake Bay, the houses of government, and even the very terrain
took on a poignant meaning.
I think you also tend to mythologize places you have never been imagining
it, recreating it out of travel brochures, movie locations, and TV shows.
I had never been to San Francisco before I moved here at the start of
1999. Suddenly, I recognized streets, buildings, parks, and landmarks
that I only knew in representation not actuality. It is an awesome
feeling to juxtapose what you think a place is like with what it actually
like.
Alas, life has taken me away from the City by the Bay. But, I lived
three fantastic years in San Francisco. The places, the faces, the friends,
and the things I know and love will always be close to my heart.
sf
mission
pow
sf/bay area friends
Perhaps one of the most difficult things anyone of a certain age --
right about when most folks would describe as "adulthood" -- is making
new friends, making close friends. I was told when I moved to San
Francisco that it would take three years before things fell into place,
before things gelled, before things felt right. And they were right.
In my last year, my life by the bay finally developed, matured, and
deepened. I suddenly, almost miraculously, didn't feel so alone anymore,
so isolated. I had friends. New friends.
collin
corey
dave
dustin
jennifer
jill
lauren
josh
mo
murphy
nate
roman
sam
sarah
tim
tobie
ed's 2002-03 apartment
I returned to Maryland in March of 2002 after three years in the fabled
city of San Francisco. It took over five months before I finally was
able to settle into my own place. You can read about my housing
travails starting with this update from
September 2002. I eventually took an apartment in the very same
building I used to live in (before I moved to SF). The apartment was
available and was two floors down from my sister's place. Once I was
settled, I wanted to create a space with a new face. A little
bit of design, a little creativity, a whole lot of work and labor went
into my new apartment. Here are the results.
entry and foyer
the library
the library (other wall)
the lounge
the lounge (other wall)
kitchen
office
bedroom
ed's townhouse
At the start of the summer in 2003, I decided that I couldn't live in my
apartment at Fairland Gardens any more. I really liked living in the same
building as my sister, but my upstairs neighbors (and the high rent) drove
me out of there. My father offered to let me stay in the family's
townhouse rent free. It was my parent's first house, which they kept
as a rental property. The townhouse was very close to campus and had been
sitting empty for some time (because the previous tenants had been
evicted). My father said that the house needed "a little fixing up."
It turns out that the townhouse, which is situated in a nice ghetto-fabulous
neighborhood, needed a lot of work. From late July to
the start of September, I worked on getting the place livable. The kitchen
was a disaster. The bathrooms were rife with mold. The hardwood floors
needed refinishing. And I can't forget about all the roaches! With the
help of some friends, a lot of elbow grease, and power tools, the townhouse
eventually became hospitable to human life. You can read
all about it in my entries from last summer.
After a lot of hard work, here are some of the results. Additional photos
to be added soon.
exterior
the kitchen
more kitchen
the living room
more living room
downstairs half-bath
the stairs
upstairs bath
bedrooms
the basement
other photos
Other pictures, images, and photos can be found scattered through the pages of my
website, but are neatly
indexed here.
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